The Coffee Runner

Staying sane one cup of coffee at a time


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I’m baaaaaaack

Oh…hello there. I have returned to Earth from the deep soils of life and death. I’ve been busy wandering through this terminal disease and staring blankly into nothingness. But I, the great host to all things sarcasm, coffee and fitness has returned! On that note, I hope all is well with everyone in the blog community and props to those upholding a current blog. You all clearly have better time mamagement skills that me. That, or your priorities are in line. Or maybe you just sit on your PC for ten hours at a stretch. It’s all good, etiher way…I commend you.

So, no more babbling, let’s get to it. I need to start blogging again, every day if I can. (Make that a 2015 goal, huh?) I want my posts to mean something, to be intuitive and thought provoking. I want my fingers to move across keys like gliding…wait…no more poetic malarky. Sorry. AHEM! My posts are going to consist of mainly puzzling/bizzarre and comical life situations we all find ourselves in. These are situations that happen daily, all the time, to everyone. Not many people realize it, or pay attention to notice what’s going on around them, but I do. Call it a sixth sense maybe, but I can detect when somebody is feeling uncomfortable, or when someone doesn’t seem to register that ordering fifty five cupcakes and eight cappuccinos while there’s a line of twelve people behind you is not socially acceptable. BUT IT HAPPENS, RIGHT? Think about it. You’re in your car waiting for a parking spot and you’re about to steal that one, RIGHT there, and then Chuckie Mcgee zooms right in, BOOM. You’re screwed. Or when you make a bee line to one specific item in a grocery store (often something archaeic, organic, or otherwise an unknown ingredient in cooking cuisine) and five people flock to gather around it as if it’s the last one on Earth.  It happens guys.

As much as I want to deliver comic relief, I also intend for this to provide factual information on certain topics. Currently, this will include drug and alcohol addiction and treatment as well as the psychology behind addiction. I’ve had a change in thinking after understanding that a close family of mine had suffered, and is still suffering from this disease. Yes, it is a disease. But more on that later…

I’ve been reading more, and when I read, I am voracious. I devour books. It’s like a binge and purge type thing with me. I should brecome more consistent, maybe another goal for 2015.?

This will still remain a place for satire and laughs. I will offer my opinion on current events that I find absurd or tittilating. (hah) But as much as I want to maintain my comic audience (if any), I want this to be a place where my thoughts can grow without interruption. I want people to learn from this blog and to consider life from the other side of the road. It’s an all encompassing blog, really, and more so a place where I can let my thoughts wander, sans eight different people gathering around and waiting to pluck it from its source.


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Growing up

Ugh. I never thought it would be this….heavy. Carrying all of this weight as an adult. I never thought I’d be in such a rut…both mentally, physically and financially. You always hear about that stories, but never imagine it could happen to you. I feel anxious, like I should be doing more. Thoughts racing. I went back to Lexapro to ease my anxiety so hopefully in a week I’ll be a bit more stable. Plus, I go back to my old job today which I’m kind of happy about.

See, I took on a new job and I’m really happy about it. The people are great, the job itself is okay…but I feel like I’m just moving laterally in life. I’m not moving forward…you know? College degree and two restaurant jobs…it’s not exactly what I’d call successful. I know it takes time and I’m being hard on myself…but I’m worried that I’ll just fade into this for years to come…

There’s also the fact that I’m not entirely sure or motivated in what I want to do with the rest of my life.  I have ideas and I’ll tell people “Oh yeah, I wanna be this or get into this” but then I’m like…what do I REALLY want to achieve. I’m incredibly capable. I’m bright enough. I’m witty. But I’m too conscious and too aware of what people are thinking at all times. I become sort of stuck in what other people are thinking of me and my decisions and fixate on that which ultimately leads to my downfall.

I’m at a point now where I’m just floating. I’m floating at work, floating in life. I wish I were back in school. I wish I had persued something different, like medicine or something practical. I wish I could re-do my degree. I’d certainly focus on the sciences. Sigh. Something will fall…


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Well it’s been a while

It has been quite some time since my last entry on here. Probably over a month, yeah. Apologies about that but…life gets in the way you know? Anyway, so I just feel like writing this all down today because I need these thoughts out on paper….”paper” as opposed to swirling around inside my own head.

First things first, I’m injured. It’s awful. It’s been present for about 5 days now. It’s been lingering for well over a week and though the pain seems to be fading it’s still quite bothersome. I can’t run, I can’t squat, I can’t bike. It’s a hip flexor/joint injury. I’m chalking it up to running on tight hips and loading too much weight on without properly stretching before squats. Hopefully this will heal in the next few days, maybe not to 100%, but by mid October I’d like to be running my usual mileage again.

This means I may not be able to participate in the Hartford Half…something that kind of saddens me. I’ve wanted to run in this race for a while now, but I don’t want to perpetuate the injury. Sigh, decisions, decisions.

Anyway, so that’s kind of a pain in the ass and I’m letting it rest and getting enough stretching in but every morning I wake up and put weight on it it seems worse. It gets better after morning time and worse at evening. I just want to be able to jump out of bed and go, you know? Come on body! Heal quicker!!! This also means that I haven’t been able to play tennis with nmy dad for a bit. We’ve developed a routine of waking early and going to the high  school to play. I’m  hoping by next week I’m able to get out there. I really miss the fresh morning air and running around…

 

Secondly, school has begun for college kids which means the gym is packed. ALL THE TIME. Mostly with guys standing around the mirrors flexing and admiring but…whatever. It just means more maneuvering. It’s also frustrating not to lift heavy. So…frustrating…

 

I’ve been on the hunt for a full time job for a while now. I have two part time restaurant jobs that treat me well, but again I’ve been out of both for over a week due to my hip. I don’t want to work in a restaurant for the rest of my life…it’s just an in between job and although I love the people there it’s not something I want to make my career, you know? Sigh…

It’s crazy. Employers want people who are “experienced” but they don’t seem to understand that there’s no such thing as an “experienced college student”. And guess what? All of those internship opportunities? YEAH THEY’RE BULLSHIT. I’m not learning how to push papers and file here guys. It’s aggravating. It doesn’t help us actually learn the details and nuts and bolts of the job we want. Half the time we end up choosing a different path than we had initially intended entirely anyway.

 

So last thing…my baby boy comes back in October. He’s been gone for over 8 months for the National Guard. He was in SC for basic and Virginia for his MOS training. I cannot WAIT to see him. Partially because I miss him to death, but also because I’m so FUCKING tired of men who think it’s OK to hit on women with boyfriends. They think they’re being cute by trying to “steal” our hearts away. NO. LEAVE US ALONE. WE’RE IN RELATIONSHIPS. FUCK OFF. You’re not charming. You’re only mildly attractive on the surface. You’ve faded. You don’t know me and never will. You’ll never have my heart.

I’ll see ya’ll on the flip side


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Also

Also, I haven’t drank this entire week due to the duathlon. I usually like to cleanse my body and prepare it for a rigorous athletic event. So, I haven’t drank in three days. I usually have a drink every night just to unwind and relax (when you work in a restaurant, it’s beyond necessary), but I’ve cut all alcohol and/or any other substances out to make sure my body can operate at peak level come Sunday.

With that being said, I think I’ll enjoy going without a drink for a while. When I finally do decide to have one, it’ll feel great and relaxing. I think I might actually hold out until I go visit my boyfriend down in VA. That, or on my mother’s birthday, the 25th of this month. Either way, it’ll have been about two weeks on my mom’s birthday and it’s a celebration so…why not? Right?

On another related note, I’ve found lately that I’m not in fact as boring as I thought I was. I used to think that in order to be interesting, you needed to go out all the time and spend time with a lot of people. Not true. I’m an incredible introvert and have always felt slightly out of place in larger crowds. I love my friends and I enjoy good company, but at the right times and places. If that means going a few weeks without seeing my close pals, so be it. I’d rather see them once every month and have something meaningful to discuss rather than go out every night binge drinking and laughing without any real conversational depth.

The reason I bring this up is because I’ve noticed lately that working in a restaurant sort of takes away a person’s personal interests and hobbies. The restaurant consumes them. Their outlet is a strong drink or cigarette to get them through the next shift. I don’t want to become that person who needs substance to function or deal with my stress. It’s not healthy. I’ve noticed a lot of the people I work with choose that outlet. It’s cool, and they’re no less of a person but I’ve realized that a lot of them don’t carry any aspirations other than working at a restaurant. I mean, what fun is that? Drinking every night? Years go by and then all of a sudden you find yourself at 30 with no degree and no real work experience other than compensating a meal and cleaning up a kid’s spaghetti spill. I don’t know, I mean…like I said, time and a place for that sort of thing. It gets tiresome and lonely surrounding yourself with people who are constantly in a drunken/buzzed hazed. It makes you feel self conscious about NOT doing that kind of thing. I have actual hobbies though! I work out, I read, I play guitar, I write, I play tennis, basketball, run, bike, hike, draw…I do stuff. It’s that simple. I used to think all of that was boring and that I was some kind of creature from the other world. That’s not true…I’m the interesting one in this scenario. I’m the one who actually has a direction, who knows what they like and doesn’t need other people to validate my interests.

Sorry, that kind of turned into a long rant. There’s nothing wrong with drinking or going out. But please, if that’s all you do? You should re evaluate your priorities a bit.


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This is What We Look Like

Apologies for the absence on here. Life in the way and such. I also haven’t found the motivation to actually sit down and write a blog post. Now, I have the motivation to cook myself breakfast, brew myself a lovely cup of coffee and go to the gym…but yes when it comes to writing I in fact…am a lazy piece of muck. Or shit. Yeah.

I came home from work one night and talked to my dad about the idiocracy of human interaction. It’s hilarious. It’s ludicrous, really. I’m talking about how we respond or react to every day situations. From an outsider looking in, it’s utter amusement, but for the poor soul enduring this common dilemma, it’s nothing but frustration and incredulity.

If you’re not catching my drift just yet, don’t worry…this isn’t something that a majority of the population will understand. But I have faith in you fellow WordPressers and might go as far to say that I can confide in you guys when it comes to these types of situations. Can we empathize a bit here? Let’s begin

Scenario 1: The Immovable Man

Ever notice that when you’re on a mission to get to a certain object, there’s one person (usually an older folk) who seems to be super glued to the exact location you need to be in in order to reach that product. Example: my dad was attempting to reach the Orange juice one day in a grocery store, and this one older gentlemen appeared to be bolted to the ground, inspected each carton methodically for its listed ingredients. Buddy, let me tell you what’s in orange juice…ORANGE JUICE. Tropicana, Minute Maid, it’s all the same. Can you please have the courtesy to move yourself a few inches over so other people can reach this juice without having to launch themselves over you? Oh, and don’t glare at us as if we’re in the way. Please, just stop.

Scenario 2: The Congregation

Similar to the first situation is the problem of multiple people being where you want to be at the exact moment you want to be there. Example: my dad again was at Home Depot in search of a fence and wiring system. Nothing interesting. The farthest corner of the store, dark and dreary, where NOBODY ever is…and guess what? At this exact moment about five non English speaking people are gathered arlound the fencing accessories, discussing the fence and examining every inch of each product. The fact that they did not speak English is not the point..the point is that they are RIGHT THERE WHEN YOU WANT TO BE THERE. How many times have you ever walked into a store, know what you wanted, have made a specific bee line to that product and found yourself behind a group of people huddled around the EXACT location of that product? It’s truly unbelievable.

Scenario 3: The Hustler

Okay, I know I’m not alone on this one. How many times have you found yourself in line ready to pay for something, calmly waiting your turn, and a person waltzes up behind you only to ATTACH themselves to you and stand so closely that you can taste their deoderant. (let’s hope) WHAT IS THIS. When I am in line behind someone, I give them about a foot of room. Wasn’t this rule established in like second grade? The bubble principle? Don’t go into my bubble. If I have to wait, SO DO YOU. Stop shuffling your feet, clearing your throat, and lurching over me and trying to see how long the person in front of me is going to take. YOU HAVE TO WAIT THIS ISN’T IMMEDIATE SERVICE. Also, after I have completed my order and turn around, do not be surprised if I bump into you and say, “Oh, excuse me” in an unapologetic tone. I bet these people are the same people who use coupons at restaurants and try to get every item discounted at the grocery store as well. YOU CAN’T RUSH ME AND THEN EXPECT TO GET 89 CENTS OFF YOUR GODDAMN CUCUMBER BUNDLE. Fuck off.

Scenario 4: The Cellulars

If I’m in line behind you at a department store (especially these, my god) DO NOT YAK ON YOUR GODDAMN CELL PHONE FOR TEN MINUTES WHILE TRYING TO EXCHANGE 856 DIFFERENT ITEMS. This is the opposite of the problem listed above. You are the type of person who will not only gab away on your phone the entire time, but will insist that you have a coupon or store credit card somewhere in your purse while I’m standing there with a pair of socks. Do not be this person. Be courteous.

Scenario 5: Chatty Cathies

In the dentist chair, at the hair salon, the oil change, the manicure place. JUST DO YOUR JOB AND SPEAK WHEN IT PERTAINS TO THE JOB. Okay, yeah, a casual “hey, how ya doin?” is fine. Ask me about what I’m doing, even though I’ll respond in the high pitched “Oh yeah, you know, just finished school, looking for a real job” every time. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. And no, I don’t really care to hear about your life either. You’re my hairdresser. You’re my dentist. You’re my beautician. I see you for a specific reason when I need to see you. Oh, and if you’re giving me a massage, do not say more than “Is this too hard?” Please. A casual hello and how are you and BRIEF small talk before the job begins is alright. DO NOT insist on telling me your life story then and there. I am then forced to have a fixed smile on my face while nodding my head as I think “shut the f*** up”. It makes me uncomfortable, and it makes you seem desperate.

 

I will most likely complete this and have more examples to add throughout the week. These are just some of the pet peeves I have with society. I try to be BRUTALLY aware of not doing any of these things. Occasionally, I get it, we all slip, but there’s this thing called common courtesy, and I think a lot of us could benefit from it. So, in conclusion, don’t be that guy.


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New Perspectives

Things I’m happy about:

-The fact that I recently smashed my latest plateau. I was able to lift heavier and incorporate new moves into my routine this week. I am no longer concerned with the fact that I am not running every day…if anything…it makes me a stronger runner.

-My new workout regimen. 1 hour of intense sports functional body weight moves coupled with 45 minutes of heavy ass lifting

-The fact that I now have coconut flavored coffee creamer in my possession

-The sangria in my fridge that I have yet to dive into

-The fact that I am working more hours and okay with that and NOT spending money and actually saving it.

-The fact that I am waking up a little bit earlier than usual

-Drinking more water than usual

-Seeing more friends

-Moderating my eating habits so that I’m not fucking full as hell after every damn meal

 

Things I need to focus more on:

-Guitar. I haven’t played in a while…I need to get back on track with that

-Finding a REAL full time job and not just dicking around picking up hours at the restaurant although it’s not bad cash

-Not smoking a cigarette when I get stressed

-Not drinking every night (heavily I mean)

-My goals for the future

-My core work

-Running and biking

-Waking up wicked early to run and bike and avoid the heat

 

Yeah, things are good thus far but every now and then I get a little bit anxious over eating something fattening or something stupid like drinking too much. I just need to be balanced and stay on that continuous track.


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My best thoughts

I think some of my best thoughts have been a product of lots of alcohol and the right kind of music. I get in that mood, you know? I think it happens to everybody, to be honest. I mean come on guys, when was the last time you just allowed your fingers to flow across the keys with ease (now we’re rhyming) ? It’s so simple after you’ve had a few drinks, man. It’s relaxing almost. It’s almost like…your soul is just set on fire and you’re swimming to nowhere. I’m sorry if I’m getting a bit out of hand, I just feel really good. I suppose it’s because I went for a 50 mile bike ride and a 4.5 mile run and then lifted heavy. Perhaps I’m on some sort of endorphin high. Maybe it’s the steak I just ate. Or the blue moon…or red wine. Or this fucking jam that’s got so much bass just surging through my cranium. Either way, drinking makes for the best stories, the best of moods and the best you can make of life. Enjoi.