Wow. So, I just read through all of my old blog posts and I must say I’m quite impressed with myself. I wrote almost every day about something new, something exciting, something humorous. I was pretty damn good! I don’t know why I ever stopped! But I just came across one of my very first blog posts that was about the fitness craze and all of the pet peeves that go along with it. In one of them, I describe people who post every picture of their deadlift or squat on instagram and their entire routine. I talk about how these are the same people who cease to run a 5k or train for a half marathon. I’m a hypocrite. I admit it. Because I fell into that same exact trap. It became addicting, hitting all those “PRs” (I talk about that too). I stopped running for a while and did little cardio for my “gains”. I walked around with bigger muscles and wanted to go heavier and heavier. Wow. I feel kind of shitty for saying that. I became exactly what I said I didn’t like. It’s kind of a shame…I mean I’m not dumping on these people. They have incredible strength but I need to remember MY roots. They have trained for countless hours and committed themselves to the sport of powerlifting or weight lifting. I on the other hand need to remember that I have committed myself to countless hours on the road both running and biking with lifting as a supplement. Those people wcouldn’t compete with me, nor I with them! Wow, I’m glad I read that post. After this injury is said and done I cannot wait to get back to running long distance. I miss that rush. I miss that high. I just want my body back.
It has been quite some time since my last entry on here. Probably over a month, yeah. Apologies about that but…life gets in the way you know? Anyway, so I just feel like writing this all down today because I need these thoughts out on paper….”paper” as opposed to swirling around inside my own head.
First things first, I’m injured. It’s awful. It’s been present for about 5 days now. It’s been lingering for well over a week and though the pain seems to be fading it’s still quite bothersome. I can’t run, I can’t squat, I can’t bike. It’s a hip flexor/joint injury. I’m chalking it up to running on tight hips and loading too much weight on without properly stretching before squats. Hopefully this will heal in the next few days, maybe not to 100%, but by mid October I’d like to be running my usual mileage again.
This means I may not be able to participate in the Hartford Half…something that kind of saddens me. I’ve wanted to run in this race for a while now, but I don’t want to perpetuate the injury. Sigh, decisions, decisions.
Anyway, so that’s kind of a pain in the ass and I’m letting it rest and getting enough stretching in but every morning I wake up and put weight on it it seems worse. It gets better after morning time and worse at evening. I just want to be able to jump out of bed and go, you know? Come on body! Heal quicker!!! This also means that I haven’t been able to play tennis with nmy dad for a bit. We’ve developed a routine of waking early and going to the high school to play. I’m hoping by next week I’m able to get out there. I really miss the fresh morning air and running around…
Secondly, school has begun for college kids which means the gym is packed. ALL THE TIME. Mostly with guys standing around the mirrors flexing and admiring but…whatever. It just means more maneuvering. It’s also frustrating not to lift heavy. So…frustrating…
I’ve been on the hunt for a full time job for a while now. I have two part time restaurant jobs that treat me well, but again I’ve been out of both for over a week due to my hip. I don’t want to work in a restaurant for the rest of my life…it’s just an in between job and although I love the people there it’s not something I want to make my career, you know? Sigh…
It’s crazy. Employers want people who are “experienced” but they don’t seem to understand that there’s no such thing as an “experienced college student”. And guess what? All of those internship opportunities? YEAH THEY’RE BULLSHIT. I’m not learning how to push papers and file here guys. It’s aggravating. It doesn’t help us actually learn the details and nuts and bolts of the job we want. Half the time we end up choosing a different path than we had initially intended entirely anyway.
So last thing…my baby boy comes back in October. He’s been gone for over 8 months for the National Guard. He was in SC for basic and Virginia for his MOS training. I cannot WAIT to see him. Partially because I miss him to death, but also because I’m so FUCKING tired of men who think it’s OK to hit on women with boyfriends. They think they’re being cute by trying to “steal” our hearts away. NO. LEAVE US ALONE. WE’RE IN RELATIONSHIPS. FUCK OFF. You’re not charming. You’re only mildly attractive on the surface. You’ve faded. You don’t know me and never will. You’ll never have my heart.
I’ll see ya’ll on the flip side
So tomorrow is my duathlon…although I am somewhat nerved (which is quite normal), I have to say I’m super excited because I know that I can actually perform well. I have had a slight dullness in my right leg and have been kind of weary of that since two days ago. I may have overdone a little running. I’m anxious to get up early and have everything and just get there. I’ve never done a distance quite like this before, but I’m looking to run fast, hard and go long and hard on my bike. I just want to finish smiling and strong and I know I will feel amazing after it’s all over. I haven’t drank all week and was considering having a beer tonight to just calm my nerves but I think I’ll just indulge in pizza instead.
So yeah, basically just been relaxing and allowing my body to hang. I’m itching for a run, which is exactly what I want. I want my body primed and ready and itching to go tomorrow morning. I’m getting up at 4 to arrive at 6. The race begins at 7:30. I’m estimating it’ll take me til about 9:45-10:00 to complete. Maybe 25 minutes for the first leg, about 45 minutes for the second, and close to 50 for the third. Let’s hope I can shave some of that time though! Wish me luck!
Things I’m happy about:
-The fact that I recently smashed my latest plateau. I was able to lift heavier and incorporate new moves into my routine this week. I am no longer concerned with the fact that I am not running every day…if anything…it makes me a stronger runner.
-My new workout regimen. 1 hour of intense sports functional body weight moves coupled with 45 minutes of heavy ass lifting
-The fact that I now have coconut flavored coffee creamer in my possession
-The sangria in my fridge that I have yet to dive into
-The fact that I am working more hours and okay with that and NOT spending money and actually saving it.
-The fact that I am waking up a little bit earlier than usual
-Drinking more water than usual
-Seeing more friends
-Moderating my eating habits so that I’m not fucking full as hell after every damn meal
Things I need to focus more on:
-Guitar. I haven’t played in a while…I need to get back on track with that
-Finding a REAL full time job and not just dicking around picking up hours at the restaurant although it’s not bad cash
-Not smoking a cigarette when I get stressed
-Not drinking every night (heavily I mean)
-My goals for the future
-My core work
-Running and biking
-Waking up wicked early to run and bike and avoid the heat
Yeah, things are good thus far but every now and then I get a little bit anxious over eating something fattening or something stupid like drinking too much. I just need to be balanced and stay on that continuous track.
I think some of my best thoughts have been a product of lots of alcohol and the right kind of music. I get in that mood, you know? I think it happens to everybody, to be honest. I mean come on guys, when was the last time you just allowed your fingers to flow across the keys with ease (now we’re rhyming) ? It’s so simple after you’ve had a few drinks, man. It’s relaxing almost. It’s almost like…your soul is just set on fire and you’re swimming to nowhere. I’m sorry if I’m getting a bit out of hand, I just feel really good. I suppose it’s because I went for a 50 mile bike ride and a 4.5 mile run and then lifted heavy. Perhaps I’m on some sort of endorphin high. Maybe it’s the steak I just ate. Or the blue moon…or red wine. Or this fucking jam that’s got so much bass just surging through my cranium. Either way, drinking makes for the best stories, the best of moods and the best you can make of life. Enjoi.
This is something that I feel needs to be said. I am not one to belittle or judge others for their hobbies, interests, and most importantly, major life decisions. However, it has come to my attention that a lot of us, some of us entirely unaware, have become, for lack of a better word consumed by how we look. I’m not talking vanity. I’m talking about compulsion. Self obsession. Abandoning family affairs and friendly outings to spend hours upon hours trying to improve the very image that makes you special. The image that, to you, can always be better. Sure, I’m an advocate for self improvement. I run (a lot), I bike, hike, lift and eat relatively healthy. I compete in races and have goals just like the rest of us. But I don’t live inside a box, restricting myself and telling myself I can and cannot have this or that. I make time for what matters. Occasionally, yes, I find that I am consumed with myself and need to take two steps back to evaluate where I really stand. But I am not bound to a life of tupperware and scales. What I am about to explain might be familiar to some of you, and for some this may be exactly you. Anyway, here is what I DO not like about the newest, latest and greatest “fitness” craze.
First, carrying around tupperware containers everywhere you go is not cool. Those are to be left in the cabinets of your kitchen or for picnic outings. The occasional to go lunch is alright, but in this day and age isn’t Subway easy enough? Tupperware is used for leftovers, not actual meals. Stop meal prepping. Stop toting around these bite sized containers of chicken and broccoli. Nobody cares about your sweet potato that took six hours to bake. Meal prepping and tupperware containers should be left at home.
2. Counting Macros
Additionally, why count your food intake? Okay, if you want to lose weight, you are going to need to cut calories EVERYWHERE. These people who say “WELL IF IT GODDAMN FITS YOUR MACROS THEN IT’S FAIR GAME.” Sure, you may end up with beastly quads or lats the size of Texas, but what about deep down? High cholesterol? Diabetes? Mood swings? High triglycerides? Liver disease? I’m sure pounding that froyo seems like a good idea at the time, and yeah, instagrammers love it. But if you’re really concerned about your health and truly want to change your body, you can’t just pound chocolate and ice cream. I don’t care if you “eat clean” 80% of the time as a disclaimer. This isn’t license to indulge in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Also, food is not meant to be weighed. Are you really that person at the party who can’t order anything but seared chicken and broccoli because you’re nsure whether or not it “fits your macros?” You’re really going to have an anxiety attack because you had an “untracked” bowl of cereal? Even though you were going to pass out any minute and needed food? Come on. Stop counting these “macros” and just eat real food. If you’re trying to lose weight, cut all calories from all food sources. If you’re trying to build muscle, stop claiming you can eat “whatever” and “lol gainz” because in ten years, your heart and liver might not be looking so hot.
3. Not doing cardio
Okay hot shot. Let’s see you run a mile. HAHALOLZMYGAINZBUTFUCKCARDIO. Let’s see you get on that two wheeler and bike five miles up that hill, champ? Miss, I only do 20 minutes of HIIT cardio and just lift heavy “as fuck”. Okay, you can squat 250 for a girl, impressive. Those monster quads you got now? Keep em up when you’re fifty. Let’s see how your heart’s doing then. Guys, it’s not hard. Just balance it out. I lift too. But unless you are an Olympic fucking weightlifter or are a SERIOUS powerlifter with credentials…shut up and do some fucking cardio. Run a few miles, it’s not that hard. It will benefit you. You’re not cool for just lifting. This whole “girls lifting heavy shit”? Whatever happened to 5ks and 13.1? I still do that, and I don’t feel any different. Where’s the sense of accomplishment in feeling bloated all the time and feeling like you can’t even put one foot in front of the other. Do you want to retain water 24/7? You know, you can walk until you’re 100. But all of that heavy lifting will end one day.
4. Posting every fucking goddamn workout or lift you do on instagram.
Who’s taking these pictures anyway? Do you ask somebody? Or do you drag your friend along? Let me guess, they carry your tupperware containers too. Oh, they’re also weighing out your food too so you can hit that anabolic window after hitting your PR. Lol. PR. And all these abbreviations. Stop. Just say personal best. Unless you fell or were injured in a funny way, I don’t want to see the same picture of you squatting or deadlifting.
These are just a few of my pet peeves. But before I make any more enemies, I shall stop here.