The Coffee Runner

Staying sane one cup of coffee at a time

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So lately I’ve been kind of in a weird state when it comes to my workouts and life in all forms. I’ve sort of abandoned all routine and structure and am content with just letting things ride. It’s making me mentally more at peace but also a bit anxious as well. I keep thinking that I’m not getting anything done and that my level of productivity is nowhere near where it used to be. I have this head fog going on and I feel as though I’m just kind of meandering through life.

Then again, I’m calmer and more relaxed and much more efficient than I used to be so it’s kind of a paradox. The more I seem to think I’m incapable of getting anything done and the more I get anxious, the more I realize I’m calmer and more efficient than ever before. This goes for everything going on in my life.

I have also restructured my entire workout routine and no longer include running six miles every day. Maybe 4 every other day. Lifting has taken over, and I’ve been trying to stretch and do a bit more yoga as well to aid in mobility. Lifting has really given me the phyiscal and mental strength of moving forward and being happy and truly seeing progress. Sometimes I fall behind and feel as though I’m just floating, but then I re evaluate the situation and realize that I’m the one who holds most clarity over the people I associate with.

At times I feel numb, and at times I feel like my mental capacity for people with little ambition is steadily closing, but then I realize…they do have goals, just different than my own. they may not wear their goals on their sleeve. They are also not trying to compete with anyone, most importantly themselves. I have to learn to remain at peace with myself and maintain a steady balance of fun, work and play. I like to go out but I also crave my alone time and solitude. I lose myself if I don’t get that.

For example, right now I feel at great peace. I’m home, in my living room, sipping coffee and stretching before my lifts. It provides me with the strength and motivation. It’s a steady voice in my head that says, “keep going.” Mental endurance, you know? It’s helped my push through my toughest runs, heaviest lifts, and worst hangovers. It’s all in my head.

But really, I think it’s just a balancing act, as with everything. It’s better to realize that now than later. I CAN do it all, but just not all at once. I am learning not to obsess or worry over small issues because I always pull through in the end. If I feel weak or fat or dumb or fuzzy, I know that my body and mind will recover. I just have to give them time. I need to provide nourishment to both body and soul. I know I will be alright, and it’s that steadfast attitude that has gotten me to where I currently stand.

I no longer stress over cardio or eating entirly healthy all the time because I know I will eventually get back on track. I know that I can just drink water and rest and my body will repair itself. I know now that I don’t have to put my body through strenuous workouts every day and every hour. I’ve learned it’s OK to eat and indulge here and there. I can eat pizza or chips or ice cream or bagels because I WILL use that enegy as a fuel source and my body actually NEEDS it.

I think it’s just finding that balance and feeling comfortable with what you have, physically, and mentally.


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New Beginnings

So…I’m kind of stuck in a fitness rut. After completing the duathlon, I want to return to my normal routine of high intensity cardio and weight training. I can see that I’m losing muscle in my legs. They used to look strong and mighty and now they’re smaller. Maybe more lean? Regardless…I cannot wait to get back to the gym to lift. (Of course it doesn’t open until 11) But I can’t wait to be hitting lifting PR’s again and cleaning that bar. I cannot WAIT to deadlift and bench and do pull ups again. Ugh. My body is drained of cardio. I’m losing shape. I look leaner but I want that butt and legs back.

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The Aftermath

So post Duathlon…well let’s just say that yesterday was a VERY long day. I woke around 3:50 and headed out around 4:45 to arrive at 5:45 and get my body marked and bike set up in transition. Parents and I walked around the lake and checked out where I’d be starting. The horn sounded and off we ran for the first 2.85 miles. It was easy and hilly. The 25 miles on the bike was dreadful. Like. I had no idea how fucking hilly that shit was going to be. Coupled with the fact that my bike seat was not high enough so I couldn’t gain leverage going up hills, I have short ass legs, I’m not conditioned to biking Litchfield hills, and I don’t own a fucking 4,000$ bike with an aerodynamic helmet. But yeah, bike was awful and took me much longer than expected. NO MILE MARKERS so I had no idea whether I was on mile 5 or mile 18. The roads were alright, but very craggly and the hills were just brutal. People had to walk their bikes up, it was bad. So, at this point I’m like FUCK ME I am not going to be able to finish this 6.2 mile run. But I got off the bike, tired as hell, drained my gatorade for like 5 gulps and headed out with my tired legs and portable water bottle.


THEY HAD JUST RUN DOWN A JAGGED, NARROW, LOG FILLED, ROCK FILLED TRAIL THE FIRST MILE AND THEN TAKE A SHARP FUCKING LEFT UPHILL. Not cool. My legs were jello. Around mile 2 I adjusted and kept consistent, rising pace with a girl my age. We kept passing one another. Around mile 5 I knew it was almost ending and I felt good. Mile 6 I had a shot of adrenaile and suddenly wasn’t tired anymore. I finished in 3 hours but was exhausted and sore. I feel accomplished but a tad disappointed. I want to do this distance again, but with much more biking practice. The runs were excellent, but the course and bike were not. So overall an 8/10 day. The weather was beautiful and we stopped for burgers and beer after! Then I napped…a looooong time. So yeah, duathlon? I shall see you again, in the future.

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So tomorrow is my duathlon…although I am somewhat nerved (which is quite normal), I have to say I’m super excited because I know that I can actually perform well. I have had a slight dullness in my right leg and have been kind of weary of that since two days ago. I may have overdone a little running. I’m anxious to get up early and have everything and just get there. I’ve never done a distance quite like this before, but I’m looking to run fast, hard and go long and hard on my bike. I just want to finish smiling and strong and I know I will feel amazing after it’s all over. I haven’t drank all week and was considering having a beer tonight to just calm my nerves but I think I’ll just indulge in pizza instead.

So yeah, basically just been relaxing and allowing my body to hang. I’m itching for a run, which is exactly what I want. I want my body primed and ready and itching to go tomorrow morning. I’m getting up at 4 to arrive at 6. The race begins at 7:30. I’m estimating it’ll take me til about 9:45-10:00 to complete. Maybe 25 minutes for the first leg, about 45 minutes for the second, and close to 50 for the third. Let’s hope I can shave some of that time though! Wish me luck!

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Also, I haven’t drank this entire week due to the duathlon. I usually like to cleanse my body and prepare it for a rigorous athletic event. So, I haven’t drank in three days. I usually have a drink every night just to unwind and relax (when you work in a restaurant, it’s beyond necessary), but I’ve cut all alcohol and/or any other substances out to make sure my body can operate at peak level come Sunday.

With that being said, I think I’ll enjoy going without a drink for a while. When I finally do decide to have one, it’ll feel great and relaxing. I think I might actually hold out until I go visit my boyfriend down in VA. That, or on my mother’s birthday, the 25th of this month. Either way, it’ll have been about two weeks on my mom’s birthday and it’s a celebration so…why not? Right?

On another related note, I’ve found lately that I’m not in fact as boring as I thought I was. I used to think that in order to be interesting, you needed to go out all the time and spend time with a lot of people. Not true. I’m an incredible introvert and have always felt slightly out of place in larger crowds. I love my friends and I enjoy good company, but at the right times and places. If that means going a few weeks without seeing my close pals, so be it. I’d rather see them once every month and have something meaningful to discuss rather than go out every night binge drinking and laughing without any real conversational depth.

The reason I bring this up is because I’ve noticed lately that working in a restaurant sort of takes away a person’s personal interests and hobbies. The restaurant consumes them. Their outlet is a strong drink or cigarette to get them through the next shift. I don’t want to become that person who needs substance to function or deal with my stress. It’s not healthy. I’ve noticed a lot of the people I work with choose that outlet. It’s cool, and they’re no less of a person but I’ve realized that a lot of them don’t carry any aspirations other than working at a restaurant. I mean, what fun is that? Drinking every night? Years go by and then all of a sudden you find yourself at 30 with no degree and no real work experience other than compensating a meal and cleaning up a kid’s spaghetti spill. I don’t know, I mean…like I said, time and a place for that sort of thing. It gets tiresome and lonely surrounding yourself with people who are constantly in a drunken/buzzed hazed. It makes you feel self conscious about NOT doing that kind of thing. I have actual hobbies though! I work out, I read, I play guitar, I write, I play tennis, basketball, run, bike, hike, draw…I do stuff. It’s that simple. I used to think all of that was boring and that I was some kind of creature from the other world. That’s not true…I’m the interesting one in this scenario. I’m the one who actually has a direction, who knows what they like and doesn’t need other people to validate my interests.

Sorry, that kind of turned into a long rant. There’s nothing wrong with drinking or going out. But please, if that’s all you do? You should re evaluate your priorities a bit.

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So, I’m competing in a duathlon in three days. My first one ever! I have done several sprint distance triathlons before, but never an Olympic duathlon. I opted out of the olympic style tri because I felt that I was not prepared for the swimming leg. First, I hate swimming and have never been a strong swimmer. I decided to take a safer and more challenging route. Challenging in the sense that in this event, I’ll be able to better challenge my speed and other competitors in sports that I am actually good at (running, biking) If I were to do the swim, I might actually get kicked in the face and drown. I thought about the whole gung ho attitude of “fuck it, face your fears” but I’m actually really frightened of swimming and open water. I’m a grounded person, not my thing. Also, I haven’t trained for it and I just don’t like being wet in a giant open lake with strangers. Yeah, sit on that for a moment.


Anyway, an olympic style duathlon is 2.85 run, 24.8 mile ride and a 6.2 mile run. I am ready to conquer and destroy. I haven’t biked in a while but I’m using that as a tool to have fresh legs coming out of the sub 3 miler. My biggest worry is transition, as always. However, unlike a triathlon, I will not have to worry about stepping into socks with wet feet after swimming a mile. (By the way, swimming a mile is FUCKING LONG) I can just hop onto my bike and go. I’m estimating the entire event will take me anywhere from 2 hours to 2:45 hours depending on my bike speed. I’m not concerned about the run. I know I’ll have it when I reach that 4 mile point on my last running leg. I’m excited! Actually, I’m not as nervous as I have been in previous races. Perhaps it’s because I know what I can put my body through and I’ve been getting stronger and more confident in both my endurance and lifting routines. One day I will compete in a full length triathlon, I know I will…but for now, a duathlon Olympic style will fair just fine. Wish me luck!

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This is What We Look Like

Apologies for the absence on here. Life in the way and such. I also haven’t found the motivation to actually sit down and write a blog post. Now, I have the motivation to cook myself breakfast, brew myself a lovely cup of coffee and go to the gym…but yes when it comes to writing I in fact…am a lazy piece of muck. Or shit. Yeah.

I came home from work one night and talked to my dad about the idiocracy of human interaction. It’s hilarious. It’s ludicrous, really. I’m talking about how we respond or react to every day situations. From an outsider looking in, it’s utter amusement, but for the poor soul enduring this common dilemma, it’s nothing but frustration and incredulity.

If you’re not catching my drift just yet, don’t worry…this isn’t something that a majority of the population will understand. But I have faith in you fellow WordPressers and might go as far to say that I can confide in you guys when it comes to these types of situations. Can we empathize a bit here? Let’s begin

Scenario 1: The Immovable Man

Ever notice that when you’re on a mission to get to a certain object, there’s one person (usually an older folk) who seems to be super glued to the exact location you need to be in in order to reach that product. Example: my dad was attempting to reach the Orange juice one day in a grocery store, and this one older gentlemen appeared to be bolted to the ground, inspected each carton methodically for its listed ingredients. Buddy, let me tell you what’s in orange juice…ORANGE JUICE. Tropicana, Minute Maid, it’s all the same. Can you please have the courtesy to move yourself a few inches over so other people can reach this juice without having to launch themselves over you? Oh, and don’t glare at us as if we’re in the way. Please, just stop.

Scenario 2: The Congregation

Similar to the first situation is the problem of multiple people being where you want to be at the exact moment you want to be there. Example: my dad again was at Home Depot in search of a fence and wiring system. Nothing interesting. The farthest corner of the store, dark and dreary, where NOBODY ever is…and guess what? At this exact moment about five non English speaking people are gathered arlound the fencing accessories, discussing the fence and examining every inch of each product. The fact that they did not speak English is not the point..the point is that they are RIGHT THERE WHEN YOU WANT TO BE THERE. How many times have you ever walked into a store, know what you wanted, have made a specific bee line to that product and found yourself behind a group of people huddled around the EXACT location of that product? It’s truly unbelievable.

Scenario 3: The Hustler

Okay, I know I’m not alone on this one. How many times have you found yourself in line ready to pay for something, calmly waiting your turn, and a person waltzes up behind you only to ATTACH themselves to you and stand so closely that you can taste their deoderant. (let’s hope) WHAT IS THIS. When I am in line behind someone, I give them about a foot of room. Wasn’t this rule established in like second grade? The bubble principle? Don’t go into my bubble. If I have to wait, SO DO YOU. Stop shuffling your feet, clearing your throat, and lurching over me and trying to see how long the person in front of me is going to take. YOU HAVE TO WAIT THIS ISN’T IMMEDIATE SERVICE. Also, after I have completed my order and turn around, do not be surprised if I bump into you and say, “Oh, excuse me” in an unapologetic tone. I bet these people are the same people who use coupons at restaurants and try to get every item discounted at the grocery store as well. YOU CAN’T RUSH ME AND THEN EXPECT TO GET 89 CENTS OFF YOUR GODDAMN CUCUMBER BUNDLE. Fuck off.

Scenario 4: The Cellulars

If I’m in line behind you at a department store (especially these, my god) DO NOT YAK ON YOUR GODDAMN CELL PHONE FOR TEN MINUTES WHILE TRYING TO EXCHANGE 856 DIFFERENT ITEMS. This is the opposite of the problem listed above. You are the type of person who will not only gab away on your phone the entire time, but will insist that you have a coupon or store credit card somewhere in your purse while I’m standing there with a pair of socks. Do not be this person. Be courteous.

Scenario 5: Chatty Cathies

In the dentist chair, at the hair salon, the oil change, the manicure place. JUST DO YOUR JOB AND SPEAK WHEN IT PERTAINS TO THE JOB. Okay, yeah, a casual “hey, how ya doin?” is fine. Ask me about what I’m doing, even though I’ll respond in the high pitched “Oh yeah, you know, just finished school, looking for a real job” every time. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. And no, I don’t really care to hear about your life either. You’re my hairdresser. You’re my dentist. You’re my beautician. I see you for a specific reason when I need to see you. Oh, and if you’re giving me a massage, do not say more than “Is this too hard?” Please. A casual hello and how are you and BRIEF small talk before the job begins is alright. DO NOT insist on telling me your life story then and there. I am then forced to have a fixed smile on my face while nodding my head as I think “shut the f*** up”. It makes me uncomfortable, and it makes you seem desperate.


I will most likely complete this and have more examples to add throughout the week. These are just some of the pet peeves I have with society. I try to be BRUTALLY aware of not doing any of these things. Occasionally, I get it, we all slip, but there’s this thing called common courtesy, and I think a lot of us could benefit from it. So, in conclusion, don’t be that guy.