The Coffee Runner

Staying sane one cup of coffee at a time

Can I Just Say Something?

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People I want phased out:

Low talkers who think you’re sitting right next to them so they talk to themselves and down into their shirt

People who walk slow in restaurants admiring the scenery  and taking it all in. I’m hungry, move. As a server, my customers are hungry, so move. You came here to eat, right?

People who are constantly thinking about food and how it rules their entire life. Food rules my life too, I love to eat, but not in a “I have to eat clean and measure everything out or else I’m doomed” kind of way. Food is not meant to have numbers. Just fucking eat without guilt.

People who tap their feet on the floor when they sit behind you

People who tap their credit cards on the table while waiting for the cashier to finish ringing them up

People who like to throw big words into conversations that would otherwise never be used in regular conversations, only to look cool

The “Ums” and “like” people

Old people who stare at young people when an inch of flesh is showing

Young people who act as if the world is their stripping stage

Overbearing husbands

Overly conscious and calculated fitness nerds who post everything on every social media site and feel entitled.

To go along with that, fitness enthusiasts who feel that they are somehow “certified” to teach/train other people.

People who don’t move out of the way when you’re card shopping. Or when you need just that one carton of orange juice that they happen to be conveniently standing in front of

People who come to dine in ten minutes before the restaurant closes and feel it is their right to eat whenver they want as long as the sign says “open”


I think that’s it for now. I know I’ll think of more later in the next hour.



Author: Shelby Akers

I'm Shelby. I'm 22. I like running , biking, lifting heavy weights, good reads, making music, writing stories, drinking beer, drinking gin, drinking wine and good fucking coffee. Balance and moderation are the keys to life.

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